Sorry, Wrong Series
by Julia451
Summary: The end of "Reunion" - remind you of anything? One-shot inspired by the last scene of that episode, when Kuvira apparently decides to follow in the footsteps of elemental powers-themed series' villains. What is Korra's reaction upon learning what type of villain she's dealing with? Probably not for Kuvira fans.


"What do you mean you can detect people's energy and figure out where they are?" Mako turned around to face Korra in the back seat, confusion still written all over his face. "You're the Avatar. You can control the four elements. Since when does that include psychically sensing people?"

His most recent ex raised her eyebrow, equally confused. "What are you talking about? That power's always gone alongside power over the four elements."

Before Mako could ask her to elaborate, Asami announced, "We're here."

A few minutes later, three-quarters of the New Team Avatar were in the train station. "It would be nice if your Avatar powers could be a little more specific from time to time," Mako said in frustration as he looked at the dozens of trains on the different platforms.

"I'll try again," said Korra. "Hopefully, he's started regaining consciousness." She closed her eyes. "Heart!" There was an amber glow, a pause, and then, "I can sense him! This way!"

A few hours later, after the fugitive was successfully deposited in the Sato Safe House, Asami sighed in relief as she closed the door behind her, leaving her and her two friends alone on one of the patios. "Now what?"

Korra folded her arms, her eyes narrowed in determination. "Now we get back to business. After all, I just failed to save the people of a very important city from being captured and enslaved, and one of my closest allies and her family are rotting in prison. Now's not the time to spend having dinner dates with old friends like I don't have a care in the world."

"Of course not," Asami agreed. "But where do we start?"

"I wish I could get in touch with Bolin," said Mako. "If he's come to his senses by now, we could use him. If not, I want to kill him."

"I wonder what Kuvira's up to now," Asami said next. "Where do you think she is?"

Korra smiled. "I don't know, but I'll find out." Her friends waited patiently as she focused. Eventually, she said, "I found Bolin," without opening her eyes. "He's on his way here. We can pick him up on our way to Kuvira."

"You found her?" Asami asked.

"I think so... Yes, she's... What the...?" The Avatar opened her eyes, a puzzled look on her face.

"What?" Mako asked her. "What's she doing?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." Korra's eyes widened briefly. "This I've gotta see. Come on."

* * *

"Harvest these vines until there's nothing left!"

The army of chainsaws obediently went to work, cutting every vine and root of the giant tree in sight. Kuvira grinned hungrily as she watched them gather up the vines, making sure they didn't leave a single one behind. Vines... more vines... she had to have them all, as quickly as possible. There had better be nothing green left here by the time they were done...

"What is going on here?!"

Her eyes narrowing ever so slightly at the voice, Kuvira turned her back on the harvesting to find the last person she ever expected to see anytime soon standing at the base of what was left of the tree roots: Avatar Korra, her three teammates (Bolin looking pretty disheveled) gathered around her, and a few United Forces soldiers behind them. The Earth Emperor glared at them all with disdain. "What does it look like? I'm harvesting the spirit vines to use for fuel for our new technology."

"Yeah, that's what it looks like, but what are you really up to?" Korra asked, as if the Emperor had just spoken a language she didn't understand. "You're a tyrannical dictator whose favorite pastime is robbing people of their homes, freedom, and dignity."

Kuvira smiled and half-bowed. "Yes, and everyone loves me for it. If you're going to be justified in stopping me, I need to do something completely reckless, foolish, unjustifiable, and unforgivable, something that none of my fans can condone or admire."

"So _this_ is how you cross the line?" Korra asked her. "By destroying the swamp and chopping up vines and trees?"

"Exactly." The Earth Emperor raised her fist to her chest. "I am the greatest villain this world has ever known. Ozai, Azula, Zaheer... they just conquered cities and killed people. But I – I chop down trees. I desecrate sacred land. I destroy nature. I attack the environment. My crimes are the most heinous and evil of all!"

Korra closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose with her right hand. Eventually, she lowered her arm and sighed as she looked back up at Kuvira. "Let me get this straight. After all the provinces you've enslaved, all the land you've stolen, all the innocent people you've locked up in your internment-if-not-concentration camps, your only completely villainous, unjustifiable-from-every-angle crime is overharvesting vines, destroying the beauty of the swamp, cutting down the world's most powerful tree... in other words, harming the natural environment?"

"Yes!" Kuvira exclaimed, beaming. "What are you going to do about it, Master-of-all-the-Elements?"

The new Team Avatar stared blankly at her. The Avatar finally whispered, "You have _got_ to be kidding me." She turned to Asami. "She's kidding, right?"

Asami shook her head. "No – she really _is_ going to anger the spirits by her mistreatment of the environment, and that's going to be the mistake that does her in – messing with nature."

Bolin leaned towards the two girls. "Maybe it's supposed to be a parody."

Mako shook his head. "Being played way too seriously for that."

Kuvira was starting to get bored. "Enough!" She flicked her wrists, and two squares of metal rose into the air above her shoulders. "If you came here to fight, let's get started."

Korra merely raised her right hand to her forehead and sighed again. "I don't believe this. Not again!"

"Are you going to fight me or not?" Kuvira called to her again.

"You're not gonna let her get away with this are you?" asked Bolin.

Korra shook her head. "This is out of my jurisdiction." She held her arm out to Asami. "Sweetie, hand me the radio."

"What are you talking about?" A puzzled Kuvira watched Asami Sato take a radio out of her satchel and hand it to her leader. "What are you doing?"

"Who are you calling?" Asami asked.

"You'll see," was Korra's only explanation before she turned her attention to the radio. For a second, there was nothing but the sound of dead air on the other end as she called for someone to respond. Then, everyone heard an annoyed female voice answer, "_Bozhe moi_,what now? Hello?"

Korra smiled and began pacing around. "Hey, babe, it's Korra! How's my favorite Airbender doing?"

The voice seemed to relax at the greeting. "Ah, Korra, hello! Everything is fine here – just dealing with the usual. How have you been?"

"Much better, thanks. Finally got over my mind pollution."

"Wonderful – I know how difficult that can be. What can we do for you?"

"Uh, I think one of your villains got lost and accidentally wandered into my series again."

"Oh, no, not again! We just finished taking care of... what do you call him in your language...?"

"Vaatu. I know, I know, but she's, and I quote, 'Harvesting fines until there's nothing left.' At this rate, it won't be long before this beautiful, sacred wetland goes the way of the Truffula trees."

The girl on the radio sighed in resignation. "_Da_, I know, I know. Hold on – we will be arriving soon."

"Thanks – this is really more your guys' line of work. By the way, how are things going between you and the street smart city boy Firebender?"

The other girl groaned. "Ooh, that..." She rambled something in a language none of them could understand for a while. "I don't get it! He drives me crazy with his flirting and his stupid jokes, and then he flirts with every pretty girl we come across! He just cannot make up his mind!"

Korra's grin said she understood exactly how her unseen friend felt. "Yeah, they do that. Why don't you back to that hot red-headed birdwatcher you met during that great tree heist? That'll show him."

"At this rate, I just might. Well, I need to be going. We should be there soon."

"Thanks. Give my love to Raava... oops, I mean, G-"

"I know who you mean. Good-bye! Over."

"Bye, hun. Over and out." Korra gave the radio back to Asami and turned her back on Kuvira. "Let's go. We're done here."

None of her teammates moved. "But..." Mako began. "... Kuvira..."

Kuvira's eyes were narrowed in rage. "Where do you think you're going? Get back here and fight like a..."

Addressing her friends, not her challenger, Korra said decisively, "I sighed up to fight a young, attractive, female version of Adolf Hitler this season, not someone on a deforestation spree. This is a job for Team Avatar Zero. Let them handle it."

Asami raised a questioning eyebrow. "Team Avatar Zero?"

Kuvira raised her arm and her floating weapons along with it. "How dare you not take me seriously! I am..." Everyone but Korra braced themselves as several projectiles hurtled forward, only to be stopped by the sound of a voice shouting, "Earth!" and a wall of rock rising in front of them. They heard Kuvira's stunned voice shout, "What in...?" before it was drowned out by the sounds of fire blasts, gusts of wind, and splashes of water.

"I think we're done here," Korra said as she walked calmly away, her team looking over their shoulders at the battle as they followed her.

When they reached a knoll some distance away, Asami stopped and turned to look back, causing Korra to stop, too. Her eyes still on the battle between the elemental benders and their environmentally-unfriendly villain, Asami asked, "You think the leader of the next Team Avatar will be anything like him?"

Korra considered him for a second before answering: "Well, it _will_ most likely be a male Earthbender..."


End file.
